Run a Marathon (Bucket List #72)

Inverness UK October 2024 Length of Read: 8 Minutes

My sights had been set on completing the Fort William marathon in 2013, running the race alongside my dad to raise funds for Prostate Cancer UK, the charity that had provided invaluable support during his treatment. The run would mark his recovery back to full health, something I’d kept at the forefront of my mind as I tied my shoes for yet another cold, dark, wintery training run. Unfortunately, however, I twisted my knee a month out from the race and had to withdraw. Instead of crossing the finish line side-by-side, I was side-lined to cheering from the stands as my dad soldiered round the course against the Scottish elements. A real-life action man.

A decade passed, and this item remained elusively untouched on my bucket list. I was still exercising regularly, but unable to face the daunting prospect of training again for something that I regarded as having ended in failure. It finally took some good old peer pressure to shake me from this limiting mind-set. Whilst chatting with a couple of close friends at a summer birthday party, they informed me of their intention to run the Loch Ness marathon that September. The sales pitch of a beautifully scenic route, the prospect of seeing Nessie, and the consumption of several beers begun to whet my appetite. A bunch of us started giving big statements about how we would join them, most of the chat being all fart and no poo. But priding myself as a man of my word, I signed up the very next morning.

Reality quickly set in that I had 10-weeks to train for the 26.2 mile endeavour. 42.2km across what I also quickly found out was a tough and hilly course. “You’ve chosen quite a brutal route for your first marathon,” warned a seasoned runner from my work. “Make sure you train for the really steep incline at mile 19,” cautioned the Head Trainer from my gym. Any naivety I had about the challenge ahead soon dissipated.

But I wasn’t starting from scratch. I have good base-level fitness from my CrossFit training and grew up representing my school in cross country and athletics. I have a sub 20-minute 5km, a sub 45-minute 10km, and in 2022 I completed the Isle of Skye half-marathon, the furthest distance I’d ever run. Wanting to maintain my strength objectives, I opted to follow a twice weekly running program, with shorter sessions on the Wednesday and longer runs on Sundays:

Week 1 – 10km

Week 2 – 15km

Week 3 – 18km

Week 4 – 21km (half marathon)

Week 5 – 24km

Week 6 – 28km

Week 7 – 15km

Week 8 – 32km

Week 9 – 22km

Week 10 – 13km

Training over the brighter summer months made a massive difference this time around, and I was able to hit every single run as planned. I purchased a shiny new pair of trainers, tested different methods of fuelling and hydration, played about with my pacing, and prioritised sleep and recovery. By the time race weekend rolled around I felt ready, prepared and, most importantly, injury free.

The Loch Ness Marathon and Festival of Running has been a staple in the UK running calendar for over two decades, and draws participants from all over the world. As well as the flagship marathon event, there’s also a River Ness 5km, 10km and wee Nessie races. My partner Eva had been training for the 10km race and we drove the 3 hours north from Glasgow on the eve of the event in nervous anticipation. It was also our rescue dog Billie’s first holiday away since arriving in Scotland, so a weekend full of firsts.

Pre-race nerves are something I’ve had to deal with my whole life, and I had a restless sleep as my mind wandered to the ‘what ifs’ of the run itself. I awoke at 6am to force feed myself some cereal for breakfast and machine gunned the toilet bowl 3 or 4 times before leaving the apartment. I covered my cracks and crevices in enough Vaseline that I could have gone down a slip and slide, leaving nothing to chance. The last thing I wanted was to shit myself Paula Radcliffe style halfway through the race or for my nipples to start bleeding.

The Loch Ness marathon is a point-to-point race, so all participants are transported an hour by double decker bus to the start line near Fort Augustus. From here, it’s a straight line following the southern edge of the loch back into the finish line in Inverness city centre. I met my mate Twiggy at the pick-up point and we hopped on one of the dozens of coaches standing by. There were 6,000 people taking part in the festival of running, of which 4,000 were taking on the 26.2 miles.

The heating was cranked full blast on the bus and as Twiggy stuffed down a melting peanut butter bagel I begun to get a pounding headache. Partly self-inflicted, partly from the fumes being emitted by the double decker as it struggled with the full capacity passenger weight to get up some paved hills. ‘If the bus is struggling with this,’ I thought, ‘then how am I going to manage?’ As a potential bad omen for things to come, the driver then announced that the power steering was broken and after stalling on several occasions, asked if we could make our way on foot the final kilometre to the start line.

As the countdown began, I took in the spectacular vista from our high vantage point, the hues of the surrounding hills and glens bringing out an enhanced sense of patriotism as I tried to block out the squatting runners squeezing out some last-minute nervous poos in the nearby bushes. It was both a beautiful and feral scene.

The starting gun went and we were off, the culmination of 10 hard weeks of training now being put into action. I tailgated Twiggy for the first 6km, all downhill, until I settled into a manageable pace and let him drift ahead. He was undertaking his fourth marathon that year and I was very much aware it was sensible to stick to my own game plan and race. I had 5 gel sachets with me and planned to take one every 5 miles with a spare tub of petroleum jelly in case any sensitive areas needed topping up. Until mile 10 everything was going to plan, with my pace steady and heart rate contained. Suddenly, however, on a sharp downhill that followed a gruelling ascent, my right calf started to fire and hamstring became incredibly tight.

I expected to feel pain and hit the proverbial wall at some point, but not that soon into the race. My practice runs had taken me far longer than that distance without a hitch, and I adjusted my stride to try and rid the discomfort. As I approached the halfway mark, the pain began to subside and I got some momentum back. I turned my cap backwards, picked up the pace, and tried to make up for lost ground. A second wind.

Loneliness then began to kick in. The banks of the loch were tranquil and quiet, good for the soul but at that moment I would have loved a welcome distraction. When it’s just you and your thoughts, sometimes they can be positive and spur you on but sometimes they can turn negative and become your enemy. The race regulations stated that no earphones were allowed on the course for health and safety reasons. Understandable, but apparently ignored by the majority of seasoned runners. I would have really benefited from some motivational music or distracting podcasts as I approached the final third of the race.

The nail in the coffin nearly came at mile 19. As we exited the wooded landscape into suburban streets, spectators began to appear with banners of encouragement. It was a sign tied to a lamppost, however, that caught my eye: ‘STEEP PART AHEAD.’ I lifted my head and stared at the Mount Everest of a hill that beckoned, the top hidden from sight as it banked around to the left. I grabbed a water as I passed by the aid station and my narrowing stride soon slowed to a fast march. It was almost hands on knees for the next mile as myself and all the runners around me began to move at a snail’s pace. The estimated finish time on my watch jumped from 3:50 to 4:15. Not good.

My attention turned to just completing the race, the original goal I had set myself and purpose of this bucket list item. The course followed the cordoned off main road back into the city centre, the mile markers counting down. 3 miles to go. 2 miles to go. 1 mile to go. I was cramping like hell, my energy reserves completely depleted, and a grimace across my face. 400m to go. 200m to go. I saw familiar faces in the crowd cheering me on. Eva and Billie were there. 100m to go. FINISH. 4hrs 5mins. Medal hung around my neck, goodie bag collected, and then collapsing onto the grass in utter exhaustion. No action man, but mission accomplished.

Top 5 of 2023: A Crobs Abroad Year in Review

Glasgow, Scotland, UK • December 2023 • Length of Read: 2 Minutes

It’s that season again. The tree is up, the presents are wrapped, and the snow has begun to fall. It can only mean one thing. It’s time for the eighth annual Crobs Abroad year in review. And what a banner year it’s been. 6 trips overseas, 5 weddings, 4 fitness events, 3 bachelor parties, 2 items ticked off the bucket list and 1 new addition to the family – Billie, our wonderful Serbian rescue dog.

Through the amazing work of the UK charity Balkan Underdogs, we were lucky enough to rescue our mixed-breed poodle from a government pound and have her transported across Europe to a wonderful new beginning in Scotland. After months of planning, paperwork, and background checks, she arrived safe but shell-shocked on a cold and wet November evening. She’s sat next to me on the sofa as I type this, still wary of men and adjusting to her new surroundings, but showing small signs of settling day-by-day. It’s going to be a long journey, one which will truly test my patience, but a rewarding experience like no other.

And with Billie’s arrival imminent, I crammed as much as possible into the milder months, bagging Munros in Aberfeldy, firing machine guns in Prague, exploring Scotland with Eva, marvelling at the Edinburgh Tattoo, commencing Greek language lessons, and upholding an annual autumn trip to see Jay in London.

My fitness has been hamstrung by a long-term hand injury, which kept me from participating in the CrossFit Open, but in March I completed my first ever Hyrox event, a gruelling physical test which left me hungry for more. The season was then book-ended with a team trip to The Castle Games in Middleburgh, a great competition with new friends.

This year I listened to the same artists and songs on repeat, with Spotify branding my listening habits as ‘Time Traveller’. After discovering Zach Bryan in the summer, I dove deep into his back catalogue, and American Heartbreak was the soundtrack continuum to my commutes and concentration. The supporting cast of music included The Mockingbird & the Crow by Hardy, Gettin’ Old by Luke Combs, Damn Love by Kip Moore, and One Thing at a Time by Morgan Wallen.

Five books that captured my attention were Alchemy by Rory Sutherland, The Billion Dollar Spy by David Hoffman, Shoe Dog by Phil Knight, The Future of Geography by Tim Marshall, and Butler to the World by Oliver Bullough.

As tradition states, however, there can only be five top moments from 2023. Drum roll, please:  

  • Giving the Best Man’s Speech at my oldest friend’s wedding after two fantastic stag weekends in Palermo, Sicily and York, England.

  • Kayaking and wild camping in the Norwegian fjords with Gadams, revelling in a new country and meeting a load of cool, like-mind, people.

  • Marvelling at the Disneyland Paris 30th anniversary drone show spectacle and securing an engraved padlock on the Seine Bridge against a backdrop of the Eiffel Tower.

  • Exploring the picturesque towns of the Cinque Terre in the Italian Riviera, eating gelato, swimming in the sea, relaxing on the beach, and watching the sun set with a charcuterie and cocktails. La dolce vita!

  • Celebrating the marriage of Eva’s sister in Greece, a truly wholesome family occasion as we were welcomed into the culture with love and open arms.

Top 5 of 2022: A Crobs Abroad Year in Review

Glasgow, Scotland, UK • December 2022 • Length of Read: 2 Minutes

Welcome to my seventh annual year in review, in which I take a moment to reflect on our most recent trip around the sun, reminisce over the good times, and take stock of what makes me truly happy in this life. With Eva still living in Yorkshire, I took advantage of hybrid working at the beginning of 2022 to spend one week per month exploring this historic county; seaside towns, cultural villages, picturesque walks, and the industrial estate of CrossFit Teeside. Long distance relationships suck, but not once did it cross my mind that we weren’t going to make it work.

In March, I started a new job, which has proven to be exactly the step forward in my career that I was looking to make. I’ve become steadfast in my own expertise and resolute in the value that I add through my skillset. Becoming comfortable with saying ‘no’ is also a realisation that I’ve made, giving more respect to my own time and desires. My progress in the gym continues, with strength gains, improved gymnastic skills, and completing organised races at the 5km, 10km and half marathon distances. I’m thoroughly enjoying this fitness journey and, despite it now taking precedence over my writing (and this blog), I’m excited to see where I can take it.   

The soundtrack to my calendar year was spearheaded by Raised by Hailey Whitters, Skeletons by The Brothers Osbourne, Young Pilgrim by Charlie Simpson, Growin’ Up by Luke Combs, and Palomino by Miranda Lambert. Five books that I couldn’t put down were The Forgotten Highlander by Alistair Urquhart, Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing, A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles, Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, and The Storyteller by Dave Grohl.

And as tradition states, here are the top five moments that I want to remember 2022 by:  

  • After nearly 3 years working as a Group Accountant for an engineering company, I commenced a new role as Financial Manager for an industry-leading power and energy supplier.

  • Completing the Isle of Skye Half Marathon with Gadams, Jason and Euan, followed by a Ceilidh and road trip exploration of the Hebrides.

  • Joining the CrossFit Glasgow Competitor Cell and taking 5th place in my first competition, The Castle Games in Middlesbrough.

  • Enjoying a relaxing island getaway to Corfu with Eva and her family, further immersing myself in the Greek culture and way of life.

  • Eva securing a clinical psychology role in Glasgow, passing her driving test, and moving back home. I couldn’t be more proud of her achievements.

My calendar for 2023 is already filling up, with trips to Paris, stag dos, fitness competitions, and weddings all pencilled in. Yes, work is important, but to me it’s not the be-all and end-all. We will be hosting 3 of Eva’s friends over Christmas, and then her sister and sister’s husband over New Year. Now I’m in my thirties, I have begun to cherish this time spent with family and friends more so than ever before, and I need to gently remind myself of this when the stresses and strains of life begin to weigh. I’ve ditched social media, it was having too much of a grasp on my life, and by doing so I feel better connected to those I care about more than ever before.

Top 5 of 2021: A Crobs Abroad Year in Review

Glasgow, Scotland, UK • December 2021 • Length of Read: 2 Minutes

Welcome to my sixth annual year in review, in which I take a pause to reminisce and reflect on the past twelve months and tie a bow around the highlights package of the year gone by.  Racing out of lockdown as winter thawed to spring, I was right back into the gym and onto the golf course, taking up a membership at Cathcart Castle, getting custom fitted for a new set of clubs, and earning an official playing handicap of 7. A weekend retreat with my family on the Fife coastline celebrated my 30th Birthday in May, followed by a 4-day hillwalking trip with my dad to Newtonmore as he attempts to bag all of Scotland’s Munros for a second time.

Things were stopped in their tracks come June, however, as I was stuck down with covid; pounding headache, loss of smell and taste, toothache and sapped of all energy. I can’t credit my girlfriend enough for how well she nursed me through what was a terribly rough time. After four long weeks I was back on my feet, having completed Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 + 2 on the Nintendo Switch, and was preparing myself for the second annual Kiwi, Kiwi Invitational with a joint birthday round of golf at Lundin Links.

Come Autumn things were uprooted as my girlfriend found herself relocating to Yarm, Yorkshire for a career in forensic psychology. Weekends spent up and down the road from Glasgow were smooth sailing in my new Audi A1, however, the VW Polo having given up the ghost after 5 long years of service. The adventures that car has been on and stories it could share… if only it could talk.

The soundtrack to my calendar year was spearheaded by 29: Written in Stone by Carly Pearce, Dangerous: The Double Album by Morgan Wallen, Sunshine State of Mind by Brian Kelly, Letters to You by Bruce Springsteen, and Heart & Soul by Eric Church. Five books that I couldn’t put down were The Premonition: A Pandemic Story by Michael Lewis, In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom by Yeonmi Park, Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, Educated by Tara Westover, and The Powers of Geography by Tim Marshall.

And as tradition states, here are the top five moments that I want to remember 2021 by:  

  • Playing a Round of Golf at The Old Course, St. Andrews with my dad to celebrate our respective 30th and 60th milestone birthdays.

  • Completing the second annual David Goggins 4/4/48 Running Challenge in the coastal town of Whitby with Gadams and Jason; running 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours on a local diet of ‘jumbo’ fish & chips.

  • Helping my amazing girlfriend move to Yorkshire to pursue her dream job and taking the opportunity to explore a beautiful and historic part of England. As an early Christmas present, I also secured a brand-new job myself which promises to be a fantastic next step in my professional career.

  • Competing in my first in-house CrossFit competition and ticking off significant movement milestones and personal records, including: bar muscle-ups, deadlift, back squat and 2km row.

  • Breathing in a heavy dose of nostalgia by Catching All 150 original Pokémon on the Game Boy, linking up multiple cartridges and consoles whilst falling back in love with a franchise that so captivated my imagination as a kid.

Closing out the year strongly, I was delighted to accept the honour of being best man at the upcoming wedding of my best friend since childhood and in a few days’ time will be boarding a flight to Greece to celebrate Christmas and New Year with my girlfriend’s family and friends (my first time on a plane in 18 months). There’s so much to be thankful for in this world and I have enhanced gratitude for those that surround and support me. As I enter a new decade in my life, three travel books and a million adventures in the memory bank, I find my focus shifting to other pursuits, but this blog will always be an outlet for my thoughts when needed. The posts may be coming less frequent, but the importance that the Crobs Abroad project still plays in my life is immeasurable.

Pokémon: Gotta Catch 'Em All (Bucket List #113)

Glasgow, UK February 2021 Length of Read: 10 Minutes

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I’m writing this on the week of the 25th anniversary of Pokémon, with the highest-grossing media franchise of all time showing no signs of stopping as the demand for the Trading Card Game far outstrips the supply. The prices of rare holographic cards have hit eye-watering values and if there was ever a time to dig out your old binder from the attic, then it is now. A literal treasure chest of nostalgia.

My childhood is scattered with memories of the franchise, swapping trading cards in the playground, rushing home from school to watch the cartoon series, and spending countless hour bashing the A and B buttons on my GameBoy as I battled through the Generation 1 Kanto Region; seeing off my rival and the Elite Four on my way through Indigo Plateau to become League Champion. Despite the countless number of times I played through the game, however, one thing had always eluded me from becoming a ‘Pokémon Master’ and fulfilling my ‘destiny’ as the show’s theme song describes, and that was to catch and record all 150 Pokémon in the Pokédex given to you by Prof. Oak at the start of the game.

And for good reason. Not only are some Pokémon ridiculously difficult to catch, such as Kangaskhan in the Safari Zone or the legendary birds roosting in difficult to reach locations, but it’s impossible to catch ‘em all with just one game cartridge. Nintendo released three different versions of the original game: Pokémon Blue, Pokémon Red and Pokémon Yellow: Special Edition. Not only do you have to trade between these games for some Pokémon to evolve, such as Golem or Gengar, but there are also certain Pokémon that are version-specific. You can only catch a Magmar, for example, in Blue, and you can only find Electabuzz in Red. Suddenly, the difficulty of the task becomes very apparent.

Then there are the in-game decisions which, depending on your choices also limit your ability to complete the Pokédex. For instance, in Red and Blue, you have to select a starter from either Charmander, Bulbasaur or Squirtle, immediately preventing you from obtaining the other two and any of their evolutions. Six gone already. Then there is the Eevee which you pick up in Celadon City. This can be evolved via stones into one of Vaporeon, Flareon or Jolteon. Another two gone. If it was easy, however, then it wouldn’t be a challenge. With travel off the cards due to pandemic lockdowns, I put a fresh set of batteries in my GameBoy Advance, blew the dust out of my Yellow cartridge, named the rival after my brother for old time’s sake, and dived headfirst into the magical world that had captured my imagination for over two decades.

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I chose to start with Yellow for a couple of reasons, 1) You are given Pikachu as a starter so don’t have to make the annoying choice above and 2) It was the only copy of the game I could find when searching my parents’ house. From initial calculations, I worked out that I could catch 130 of the 150 using just this one cartridge, which is a pretty good number to get started with.

The game commences in Pallet Town, the only city in the Kanto Region not named after any colour but an artist’s mixing plate. From here you have to fight your rival for the first time then deliver a package to Prof. Oak in return for the Pokédex so the challenge can officially commence. It’s then a short trip through Viridian Forrest to Pewter City to fight Brock and get the first gym badge. When playing the game as a kid I would run from almost every wild encounter at the beginning of the game, not interested in catching such common and weak Pokémon as Caterpie and Pidgey, but this time I was on a mission. I caught everything available before picking up the Old Amber fossil which is used to resurrect Aerodactyl on Cinnabar Island.

After defeating Brock I then made the long journey through on Mount Moon, picking up a Zubat and Clefairy, the latter of which can be traded for a Mr Mime from a person at the entrance to Digglet Cave. I also used a moonstone to evolve Nidorino into Nidoking, the choice of speedrunners and a ridiculously powerful Pokémon to have this early in the game. It’s also in Mt. Moon where you are forced to make the first limiting decision: the Helix fossil which can be turned into Omanyte, or the Dome fossil which can be turned into Kabuto. I made a note of my choice and battled through to Cerulean City where I defeated Misty, the trainers on Nugget Bridge and got the SS. Anne ticket from Bill. In Yellow, you can also get both Charmander and Bulbasaur from just talking to in-game characters, providing Pikachu’s happiness level is high enough. Similar to how Ash in the cartoon never evolves his Pikachu, it’s impossible to do so in Yellow meaning that Raichu is also off the cards. The image below (credit: Jrose11 on YouTube) depicts the 20 Pokémon I was unable to catch in Yellow alone due to the above restrictions.

YouTube: Jrose11

YouTube: Jrose11

Over the proceeding weeks I played through Yellow every spare opportunity I got, spending hours at a time wandering through grassy areas searching for rare encounters and battling every wild Pokémon that crossed my path to slowly level up and evolve those I’d caught. I completed the game in the process, using the Masterball to catch Mewtwo and spending all my hard-earned cash in the Game Corner until I had enough coins to purchase the prized Porygon. In the Safari Zone, I biked around aimlessly for days until I’d managed to snare a Tangela and Pinsir, and the same in Cerulean Cave until I picked up a Chansey and Rhydon. When my Pokédex finally hit 130, after 60 hours of gameplay, it felt like a huge milestone had been reached.

With Yellow completed, it was time to turn my attention to Red and Blue, with the first challenge being to obtain working copies of the games themselves. After a couple of outbid eBay auctions, I finally got my hands on a copy of Red for £13.99 from a pawn shop in Blackpool. Having built up unnecessarily intricate knowledge of the game I raced through the early stages, this time selecting the Helix instead of Dome Fossil, the Hitmonchan instead of Hitmonlee, and catching a Pikachu that could be evolved using a Thunderstone. I also managed to find the version-exclusive Electabuzz in the depths of the Power Plant and chose a different Eeveelution.

The next stage in my quest was to find a way of transferring Pokémon between game cartridges. I borrowed a GameBoy Colour from my brother and purchased a link cable for £8.99 from Amazon for next day Prime delivery. This worked a treat, and I began the time-consuming process of trading Pokémon one-by-one and back-and-forth between games, using this opportunity to also evolve my Graveler, Haunter and Kadabra into Golem, Gengar and Alakazam respectively – the three of which only evolve through trading and not by level-up. When all was said and done, my Pokédex now stood at 146, with only Vaporeon, Meowth, Persian and Magmar left to catch.

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After two weeks of scouring eBay daily, I won an £18.99 auction for a copy of Blue which was delivered painfully slowly via 2nd Class Royal Mail. It was then a formality of blasting through the game to the Pokemon Mansion on Cinnabar Island where I found a wild Magmar on the 3rd floor. I then transferred it along with the Meowth and Vaporeon into Yellow where my Pokédex climbed to 149. After a final morning spent levelling up Meowth it eventually evolved into Persian and I let out a jubilant cry. The level of elation that fit the image of a 30-year-old man sitting in his pants and simultaneously playing two GameBoy consoles for hours on end. All that was left was to collect my prize.

I had Charizard fly to Pallet Town and I entered Prof. Oaks’s lab, the place where this whole journey began. The most painful to catch of the 150 must have been Tauros, which constantly ran away no matter what combination of bait or rocks I threw at it. The most painful to level up was Dratini. I caught it by fishing rod at Lv. 10 and lost count of the number of Onix I had to water gun until it finally evolved into its final form of Dragonite at Lv. 55. My favourite? Clefable. Alongside Nidoking, I had it Body Slam and Blizzard through the Elite Four dozens of times and it was the only Pokémon to reach Lv. 99.

So what does Prof. Oak say to you after affirming his life’s work? ‘Your Pokédex is fully complete! Congratulations!’ That’s it. No hidden prize. No Easter Egg unlocked. Just: Congratulations!

Underwhelmed, I headed back to Celadon City to speak to the Game Freak developers holed up in one of the buildings next to the department store. There I was rewarded with a diploma for my achievement, not quite the fanfare I was hoping for, but some recognition nonetheless. Receipt of the diploma brought down the curtain down on quite the adventure, a trip down memory lane that had me fall back in love with the gameplay, characters and world that had engrossed my youth. It was almightily satisfying to cross off this Bucket List item, but also prompted me to enter the Trading Card Game hobby again and continue to Catch ‘Em all!